Somehow, we have all been tricked – taken – hoodwinked…into believing that having MORE things equals MORE happiness, MORE peace, MORE success. In fact, the opposite may be true.
Every once in awhile, I stumble across products that make me shake my head in utter disbelief. I can see how people are bamboozled into buying yet another raincoat or pair of shoes, but…this…this is new level of madness.
Tell me. Would you buy…?
A Little Colour ($120/per child)
For only $120 (that’s one-hundred-and-twenty-dollars!), you can get a “specific analysis of your child’s colour profile and advice on colour issues.” According to the website, knowing your child’s best colours will take the hassle out of shopping because you’ll be able to choose choose outfits that will make your child look great. Heaven forbid that your golden-haired 3-year-old wear green when his color is really orange!
Juppy Baby Walker ($24.95)
Your toddler hasn’t started walking yet, but little Johnny and Jill next door have? Help your baby “catch up” with the Juppy, a canvas bag with handles. No more achy back for you. Don’t carry your baby any longer than you need to. Your baby WILL learn to walk if it’s the last thing you do.
Oh, and it’s doctor-approved…which means SO MUCH in this day-and-age.
Booty Pop – Booty Enhancing Panties ($19.95 + shipping)
Are you a little flat-bottomed? Purchase a pair of these fluffy panties and your bottom will pop right out for all to notice and admire. Supposedly, all the celebs wear them. You want a pair now, right? We will all now flock to buy them because Kelly Ripa wore them on her show. Right? (Oh, how I hope that’s not true).
Potty Training Stickers ($3.99-$5.99/sticker)
Is your little one having trouble with his/her…ahem…aim? Peel and stick one of these onto the inside of your toilet and the heat of your child’s urine will reveal a playful design. There’s even a “Hole in One” sticker for your little golf pro. No comment.
Pump Gloves ($14.95)
The Tagline is “Don’t Be A Ditz, Cover Your Mitts!” They are “designed to protect a woman’s hands and manicure from the gas, grease, grime and germs she comes into contact with while pumping gasoline.” I’m not making this up.
P.S. You might as well wear them while you are out running errands too…and especially when lifting those heavy shopping bags! Wouldn’t want to chip your nails, after all!
Thanks For Everything ($3.50-$5.50/card)
Someone took the time to buy you a wonderful gift for your wedding, new baby, or special occasion. Now, you can show them how much you care…by hiring this company to write a thank-you note for you! Answer a few simple questions and they’ll craft a semi-lengthy note that is “so poignant and personalized” no one will ever know that you outsourced it. Sneaky, Sneaky.
* This post is obviously written in satire. If you actually bought these products and you love them, I want to hear about it. :)
Would you (or did you…) buy any of these products? What other interesting/laughable products have you seen advertised?