I'm Not Your Typical Pastor's Wife

I'm a pastor's wife. Bet you didn't know that.

Because I'm not really your typical pastor's wife...

I don't wear big hats and floral dresses. Or denim jumpers. Or stockings.

Um. No. Never.

I wear casual clothes. Or cute skirts. And I would wear dresses...but there aren't very many that look great on my body type and provide easy nursing access.

I wore this to church today:


I don't sing soprano.

Actually, I sing alto. But only in a group. Or in the shower. Or in my car. Or along with the radio ("Cause You had a bad day, the camera don't lie..."). I love singing, don't get me wrong. It's just not one of my...ahem...top talents.

I lip-sync to hymns.

Yes, I CAN sing "Amazing Grace." Such a beautiful, beautiful song. But I have to admit that I don't know the lyrics of quite a few of the lesser known hymns and I don't know all of the latest worship songs either. Sometimes, if I don't know the words to a song, I make up my own song and sing it very, very softly.

I don't gossip.

Pastors wives get a bad rap for gossiping. I'm not sure if it's justified or not, but I can assure you that I am not the gossiping type. If I hear people gossiping, I tend to bow out of conversations. I prefer, candid, authentic, honest conversations with people...not about people.

I don't always like going to church.

Some days, I would prefer to stay home. It's a lot of work to get two kids fed and dressed and brushed and ready. Not to mention I actually have to find an outfit for myself that fits and looks attractive (not an easy chore for a new mama).

My kids aren't dressed to the nines every Sunday.

I let my almost-3-year-old wear shorts, jeans, and tees to services. Sometimes, I forget to brush her hair.


So, there you have it. I'm not your typical pastor's wife.

But then again, my husband isn't exactly your typical pastor either:


Yes, that really is him.

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36 comments on “I'm Not Your Typical Pastor's Wife”

  1. Ha! He isn't a typical pastor! He giggles too much! :) The guys here in Ukraine just commented that I'm officially one of them! I guess its because I "rip off a one liner" just like they can. Hmmmmm, not really sure about that, but then again, I'm not a typical missionary! :) Having fun with the guys here, hope to meet their lucky wives someday soon.

  2. I'm glad you aren't a stereotypical "pastor's wife" I like to see women who have thoughts of their own, and admit that they aren't perfect. It's easier to relate to "real" women, than "perfect" women :)

    thanks for this post - my sister is a soon-to-be pastor's wife, so she'll have to read this :)

  3. Hi Stephanie, now I know why you always have such a great smile!!
    I'm not a pastor's wife, but I love the Lord just the same. I just found your website when I was on our website here at work, and went on it. To my surprise!!! Good for you, and would love to know your church's name. I wear whatever I want to whether it be a long dress, or jeans, our church is very laid back. Our Pastor will wear jeans and a nice shirt and a jacket. It's great. Very comfortable. And like everybody has said, it's that you love the Lord and you get His message through to as many people as you can. Linda

  4. Thanks for posting! I'm a pastor's wife and feel the exact same way! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one out there. I would love to hear about your church sometime. (I came across your blog searching for tupperware reviews haha) I'm buying the sippie cups.

  5. That's very neat to know that you are a pastor's wife! I also think that it is wonderful that you wear casual clothing to church services! God certainly doesn't care what we wear, or how we look. It's not like when we get to heaven, there will be section's for the well dressed, and the casual dressed..hehe. My husband and I just recently started going to a church that is very laid back and casual and I love it. I am not a dress wearing type of girl, and dresses make me uncomfortable, so if I were to wear dresses to church, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the sermon as much, because I'd be worried about the dress riding up or something..lol.

  6. I just discovered this post, How I missed it, I don't know.

    I think its awesome that you are a pastor's wife! I didn't know it before, and wouldn't have guessed.

  7. I'm apastors wife as well. Big hats don't make the
    woman, God does. I really do like them, but oh well they are nice! Be who God wants you to be and
    you will never go wrong! clothes don't make the woman. we must wear what makes us feel good. and
    don't forget to put on the garment of praise!!!

  8. I love your themed weekends. What a nice way to cover a topic thoroughly without writing a mega post.

    I struggle with writing about my faith as well. I hate those posts. they always make me feel awkward, and the comments don't always get what I was trying to say, which makes me feel defensive. I still post occasionally b/c my faith is so important to me, to leave it out of my memoir would be almost like lying. Or at least denying the Source of my hope and joy. But I still don't enjoy those posts.

    I enjoyed yours though. :-)

  9. Wonderful post. I am actually not surprised. Your posts are touching and moving. Many times your compassion brings a tear to my eye and pulls at my heart strings. I love your writing style and your conviction to make the world a better place. I am so glad to have found your blog several years ago. I agree with most of your opinions, love your sass, and have found comfort in knowing there is another mommy like me that I can share this 'walk' with. I have also learned a LOT about blogging from you.
    Thanks for your great posts stephanie.

  10. I am a preacher's KID! LOL And we were NOT a typical preacher family that is for sure!

    I don't think I knew your hubby was a pastor! HOW could I NOT have known that?!?!?!?

    Jeans for me too on Sundays. But truth is, I have barely gone to church since Liv was born. I just can't get too excited about getting dressed and out of the house by 8:45am on Sunday am to go sit in the nursery. BUT Jackson LOVES his Sunday School class, so now that the fall is almost here, I must get back into the routine.

  11. I wore jeans and a black shirt to church the other day too! Love that you are a pastor's wife and love that you are supportive, bold, confident and honest. It is great for people to see that Christians/pastors/pastor's wives/believers are normal. While I am not a pastor's wife, I am involved in leadership in our church and I am with you on all of the points you made above!

  12. You make me smile!
    And part of the reason is because I know you are being honest...It a privilege to know you on the other side of the computer.

  13. I knew that about you, although I can't remember why I knew that you were a pastor's wife. Oh well... I'm a preacher's wife, I do sing soprano and play the organ/piano (as needed - I'm in no way an expert), and I love hats... but the rest of it, yep, not me. Sometimes I wonder "why me?" I am just not your typical preacher's wife, but my preacher loves me and I think that's all that matters.

    P.S. I hate gossip too...

  14. Looking at all these pastor's wives coming out of the woodwork. LOL I am one as well... And I am quite unconventional as well... We are very casual and my kids do not behave that great in church - they go from pew to pew sitting with different people, crawl under the pew, you name it.. but when you have 4 to take care of by yourself while you hubby is "doing church" well.. that's just how it goes.

  15. I am also a Pastor's Wife, and definitely not stereotypical. My husband is not a typical pastor either, he plays semi-pro football, has a tattoo, and is a real person! Sometimes I think it's really tough being a pastor's wife, okay who am I kidding, most all of the time I think it's difficult, but I know that God has called both my husband and myself to this field, and I pray we can fulfill God's will for us!

    Thanks for being "real" in this post, it is much appreciated!! :-)

    1. I appreciated you stating the things in which your husband part-take in as a Pastor. I too am a Pastor's wife and I would rather wear jeans and t-shirt to church every sunday just as my husband would rather preach in the jeans and t-shirt. However, the world has a different view of what a "First Family" should look like when it comes to the church. I thought our mission was to save lost souls...

      Thanks for posting. Glad to know I am not alone in this arena.

  16. I think the whole church would have dropped jaws if you showed up to church in a floral dress with a big floppy hat. Heck, I think we'd be shocked if ANY of our pastoral staff and/or wives came dressed up like that! I have one family member who is still mortified that we attend a church where the pastors wear jeans.

  17. I love pastors like you guys! :)

    Our best friends are pastors. You and your husband remind me of them! :) They're very real people. He actually was the one who married my husband and I, and we still go to them for any marital advice we may need. They have 2 daughters as well, and the whole family is a lot of fun! We absolutely adore them!

  18. Love the theme. Do you have a post about "shopping" for churches. Not to sound crass. But it took us a few tries before we found one that matched with our family.

    My advice is if you don't fit into your church look for another church home that makes you feel warm, welcome and happy.

  19. Just checked out your faith week. I think you just earned yourself link from my blog! And, I haven't updated my blogroll in eons, so that's saying something (about what I think of you, not how much traffic you'd get:)

    I grew up in a very conservative christian home and went to a wacky church in a small town in Idaho. I'm still recovering. The pastor gave me hard time when, upon gradation from high school, I cut my hair short. My mother thinks I'm going to hell because I don't care for Sarah Palin. These are just a few examples.

    I have not abandoned my faith, as my family might think. I'm just very wary of churches and hopefully someday will find the right one. I love your authenticity this week.

  20. You are so cute! I love the kind of pastors wife you are...and quite appretiate your husbands style as well (aka: helping my husband to get the car started yesterday in the VERY warm sunshine, talking to the kids, offering to get this very pregnant woman some cold water) so...thanks you two, keep it up!

  21. Oh, I absolutely LOVE that picture of him--and the pure REALNESS that your portray.

    (I tried leaving a comment yesterday about church attendance and what it means to me, but the internet ate it. Gotta love cyberspace. Let's just say THANKS for the post. Yes, I go to church weekly. And I'm so glad you're talking about things like this so openly!)

  22. I wouldn't have every imagined your husband was a pastor, and you the wife of one of course!
    You're the coolest pastor's wife, and your husband is the coolest pastor! seriously! That is a very neat photo.

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