Final Musings about Marriage, dedicated to Tim

Final Musings about Marriage, dedicated to Tim 1At 16, I met a handsome boy. He was the soccer star, the captain of the track team, the student body president - he stole my heart with his ocean green eyes and his serious smile. Even in the early days, I knew that he was destined for greatness. He had something beyond intellect and good looks (although he had both of those as well) - he cared about people and he could communicate in powerful and effective ways. He worked harder and longer and with more passion than anyone I had ever met. He was brave, strong, courageous, daring, a risk taker. I knew he would give his life for me in an instant. That boy swept me off my feet. He pursued me with a forthrightness that caused me to catch my breath. 

Today, I am happily married. I am wildly content. We have little moments, of course - where one of us might lose our patience or be a bit too selfish. But we are close, we are connected, we are committed.

I realize that we have much to learn that time and experience will teach us, but I thought I'd share four tips that have helped bring us to where we are today.

1. Communicate often and openly. We engage in conversation frequently - talking in straightforward terms about money, sex, careers, kids, goals, hopes and dreams, etc.

2. Have sex regularly. It's a necessity for a good marriage. 

3. Give generously (not expecting something in return). Not just material objects, but also time, energy, enthusiasm, and desire.

4. Propel your spouse into success. Intentionally encourage and challenge your spouse to pursue his/her dreams. Think about your spouse's goals and work actively to help him/her reach them.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't say that our relationship stands firmly on a solid foundation - which is Christ. 

Thanks again for participating in this weekend's "Themed Weekend: Married Moments." What final marriage tips would YOU share?

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11 comments on “Final Musings about Marriage, dedicated to Tim”

  1. I love this post too, and agree completely with giving generously and not expecting anything in return. Someone once mentioned to my husband and I (before we were married) to never keep 'score' about who has done what in the household or relationship. That advice has been so helpful and makes giving without comparison so much sweeter.

  2. Very good, solid advice. My two cents would be: Extend grace to one another. We are all imperfect human beings. We all need grace, and to cover our spouse with it. It takes supernatural strength to do that at times, that is why we need God at the center.

  3. Hello! I received your email today telling me that I won the DCR Design blog makeover. I contacted Jo-Lynne today and am now waiting to hear back from her. I just wanted to let you know! And to say...THANKS! I'm very excited! - BrineS

  4. Have you ever seem TLC's Shalom in the Home? One of the things the Rabi says is "You can't be a good parent without being a good spouse.". Your marriage themed weekend reminded me of that saying. Thanks! Now, where is the babysitter's #.....

  5. I love this post...I would love to add that I think that it is important to have hobbies that you can do together. My husband and I love to go camping, shooting, running, shopping,fishing,hiking,playing sports,dancing, being goofy together. Actually, that list could go on and on...I think that the more "Things" you have in common, the less time you spend apart on days off, because you enjoy doing the same stuff.

  6. I was going to add pray together, but I see that someone else already did.

    I'll add "laugh together"

  7. Fantastic post. Excellent points. All of those things are SO important! Under "Give Generously" I would add to the "time" part--give the other person their OWN time. At least for us, we both need alone time, and that can be really (REALLY) hard to come by unless the other person both encourages and helps that happen.

  8. Thanks for the advice.I also have great relationship
    with my husband although we do have our moments.
    Thanks for sharing!

  9. Beautiful - wonderful advice! The one piece I might think to add would be to go to church or to pray together. My hubby doesn't always go to church with me, but we are praying more and more together. He wasn't really, really religious when we met, but has grown over the years, and continues to do so. We grow together in the Lord!

  10. Ah, sweet! I love "how-we-met" stories, and, even better, "how-we're-still-together" ones! Great tips, too.

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