He's back (and so am I)

Tim is home!!! (and, boy, did I miss him!)

He's back (and so am I) 1

That man - with his green, green eyes. His serious smile. His sincere heart.

That man - with his contagious courage. His articulate words. His in-motion mind.

He's back (and so am I) 2It wasn't terrible during the day - with the sun, the breeze, and sweet little voices to keep me company.

But at night, I felt so incomplete as I made dinner (boxed macaroni & cheese from Trader Joe's, anyone?), went on a walk (by myself - well, with the girls, but without him to talk to...), gave the girls a bath (how in the world do you give a 1-year-old a bath solo?), and tried to put them to bed separately (right....).

Most of all, I missed talking to Tim about anything and everything. He's the best conversationalist (and we are the best of friends).

I'm going to write more about our marriage soon. Do you have any questions you'd like me to answer about that?

Also - I really do need your advice about how to bathe a squirmy, slippery 1-year-old who wants to stand up on the slippy-slidey bath surface...

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33 comments on “He's back (and so am I)”

  1. and you know I did this when my kids were little ..in the summertime (mind you we had a private fenced in back yard) we had outdoor showers..just get the garden hose and soap and shampoo and let them have at it.. (just make sure they're not directly over a dirt pile when you start..counterproductive).

  2. My husband is out of town working right now and while I know it's for the best (it's a great job whereas here there are none right now) it still doesn't make it any easier. I really don't know how single moms (or dads) manage I feel like I'm chasing my own tail most days. And I just hurt my knee very badly and want my own personal nurse/hubby more than anything..sigh.

  3. I hear you. Life is much easier with hubby at home. The past two days I have been the one away. I had to go to Court for 2 full days and one night I got home at 7:30pm and the next I did not get home until 8:30. And I left earlier than normal. My Hubby handled everything like a pro (including lunches which I normally make) but I ready to relax with my family tonight. I did get to go to work an hour later than normal so I could spend some extra time with the family but then they all slept in later than normal!

  4. Hi!! I'm glad Tim is back!! :) I was going to say that we did showers with our little one up until pretty recently...it's doable by yourself but much easier when there is someone there to grab them and do the drying (while you shower or dry off)....but we each did it by ourselves too on rare occasions.

  5. Thank you so much for sharing that you are having issues with bathtime! I have a 10 month old and she WILL NOT sit in the tub and I thought that I was the only one. Not only does she not sit in the tub, but she hates baths too (might be because she has so much hair and doesn't understand about closing her eyes yet so getting a bath always means getting water all over her face!)
    We're working on a bath every other day and every other day we just have a play time. I also put her sponge in from when we used to bath her in the kitchen sink and that seemed to help.

  6. What a great team you two make.
    Wish I had some tips on the lil miss. I can't even remember what we did...We are having separate bathtimes right now- not sure if it will be better or worse when there are 2 in the tub.

  7. Bathe her in the kitchen sink? Get a bath seat? Or those sticky bath non-slip pads? Ask her if she wants to sit down and have a bath or get out and be all done? (prob. not old enough for this is she?...still it empowers her to take the lead).

    Oh and I'm LOVING "Too small to ignore", it's shaking us up and challanging our parenting style to the very core. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    1. Thanks for the ideas, Joy! Quite a few people suggested the "sit-down-or-you're-all-done" approach, but...my baby would just be all-done from the get-go. She's not a huge fan of baths. As such, that approach doesn't work because I actually want her to be clean. ;)

      Oh, and isn't that book amazing? I cried and laughed and reflected and...I still think about the concepts most every day.

  8. I so miss my husband when he's away overnight too. Not because I can't handle the kids on my own. I can and do every single day. But I miss having another adult around and having adult conversations. One can only sing the ABC's so many times in a row while keeping a real smile on her face.

    As far as bath time, having you ever taken a shower with her? I sometimes do this with Lucy when I'm in a hurry. It does get tricky trying to shampoo your hair but if you can manage that part the rest is a cinch. Just make sure you've got a couple of towels at the ready when you get out. Wrap up her and yourself and you're done.

  9. I totally know what you mean about bathing an energetic 1 year old. Our son is 18 months and loves his bath and playing. Sometimes he'll sit down when I ask him to, and other times I'll need to (gently) put him on his bottom. Up until a month ago, I just got in the tub with him. It was easier, safer, and then I got some play-time with him too!

    I'm glad your hubby is home! My husband and I haven't had a night without each other and I don't know that I could handle it!

  10. You are very blessed to have that connection with your husband. I also showered with my girls from a very young age.

  11. I use non slip mats too. not the colorful kind they sell for kids though - those have suction only on the sides and do not work well.

  12. I bathe my 2 year old and my 9 month old together (I know, I'm crazy!) and I use a washable rubber mat that suctions to the tub floor. It works wonders for my squirmy baby and I don't have to worry so much about him slipping. Both my kiddos like to have a plastic cup to play with and, yes, I let them use the cups to take drinks of the bath water! It may be yucky, but it keeps me sane :)

  13. First of all, your love for Tim is just amazing. I don't know that I have any questions, as all relationships are so different, but I can't wait to read more about that!

    As far as wet squirmy babies go - have you tried bathing your girls together? It sounds crazy (like making a tough situation more tricky), but Zac was exactly that squirm who wanted to stand up, and one day we dumped them in the tub together and he was so much better. Maybe it was the distraction of having his sister there? Or watching her NOT squirm and stand up? Now we have a routine where I can bathe them both, at the same time, even when hubs isn't home.
    I wouldn't suggest you try it on your own just yet, but as long as Tim is there... could go either way. Good luck!

  14. I usaully take a bath or shower with Audrey. I put water shoes on her so she can walk around. She loves to breastfeed in the bath, and that's when I will do her hair (:

    Your husband is handsome, you guys make a darline family.

    I would like to know...do you guys make an effort to have dinner together, read same books, watch tv shows together?

  15. Stephanie...I know more about this than you know....with my husband's erratic work schedule (including lots of travel and long hours ) it's tough to do it alone for any length of time....I can't wait to read more about your marriage and marriage in general

  16. You just surmised how much I miss my husband. Tim looks good with that fish by the way.

    As far as bathing a one year old. I just soak warm water in a big bowl. I put her in her tub and I start with washing her hair and her face, I rinse that. And then we start going down slowly...I wash her hands and we count her fingers, and then we work downwards to the legs and toes, I then proceed to rinse her....that is so much fun cause she loves all the splashing water...I then carry her on my lap to wash her privy area with soap and warm water...and a final splash from shoulder to toes...and we are done. On certain occasions, we just fill the tub, and she moves around for a while and I just rinse her, wash her privy and we are done.

    Not the best explanation...hope you got the picture though.

  17. Nice post :-)
    My husband works long hours, so my days are similar (except with one child to put to bed--but he doesn't go to sleep easily, even after hours and hours of playtime and running outside, jumping on the bed, etc.). Even when my husband is home, my little boy is particular about having mommy at night. I don't really mind, though :-) I'm sure that will change someday, so I just try to enjoy it and soak him in. For baths, I always hopped in the tub with him when he was younger. Usually my husband bathes or showers with him now, but sometimes I still do (like when my husband isn't home, but my little boy really needs a bath). I wear my bathing suit and it is usually a pretty long, splashy, fun event that involves cleaning the bathroom afterward--or at least mopping up all the water we *tried* to keep in the tub.

  18. I take the girls into the shower with me. One can shower by herself, the other just comes with me. I just held her when she was little, soaped her up, rinsed off and out she went. I am not really a fan of bathing my kids in the tub. I hate that they were sitting or standing in dirty water at the end. Even if i rinsed them, Yuck, So showers for us.

  19. :-) Glad he's back! Stephan's work hours are so crazy that on some weeks, I feel like he's pretty much gone. It's not nearly as fun as when he's home. As far as bathing a 1 year old...I always just got in with Levi. It made it a lot easier.

  20. Every time our one year old stands on something or in the bath, she smiles really big and says "sit-down!" in her sing-song voice. She must have heard that a few times! :) We have a bath mat from IKEA that has been fantastic - it covers a large area of the tub, and was around $5. We also keep things down low - even a shampoo bottle on the ledge seems to inspire standing, so I clear the area except for some fun toys right in the water. The measuring cups and spoons seem to be a hit, lately! We have a dedicated set just for bathtime fun.

  21. I'm still trying to figure out how to bathe a wiggly, squirmy one-year-old. We just do it as fast as possible! My little one doesn't want to stand up in the bath right now, he wants to crawl all around the bath tub.

    We use a washable rubber mat in the bottom of the tub, it suction cups in and pops right out and goes through the washer to get clean. My oldest was terrified of the slippy slidey aspect of the bath tub so it's been a life saver for us!

  22. I have a 1 and 3-year old that I bathe together. The older one helps model that you stay seated. I keep telling the little one to sit when she stands, and make her sit. Now she knows what sit means though, so I don't have to help her sit down. I take her out if she does not cooperate. I drain the water and let the 3-year old take a shower while I get the 1-year old dried and dressed. Then the 3-year old comes out. He uses the tub like a slip and slide in the shower. He calls it 'doing tricks'.

    I have done all the bathing of our 1-year old, and with the older one by husband only does showers, so I have done all the baths with him too, so I don't get help. Sometimes I do call him in the room to keep an eye on one while I dress the other if they are not cooperating.

  23. I use the bath seat that attaches to the side of the bathtub and it works great. My daughter doesn't try and stand up and just plays in there for a long time. We also have been using it for a long time, so it may be hard for you to switch to at this point.

  24. I bathe both my kids together and they play together. When they start fighting or splashing out of the tub that is when bath time is over. My kids are 3 and 1.
    I don't actually "clean" my 1 year old unless he is really dirty. I just let him soak. He has really bad eczema so I have to be careful sometimes even with putting bubbles in the bath that his big sister loves!
    I know it is not easy doing the bed time thing alone. My DH goes on business frequently but it gets easier. I just try to make sure the kids are all tired out and luckily my 1 yr old just lays in bed and goes to sleep when I lay him down.
    My 3 year old will usually sleep with me because I don't like being alone and she really enjoys it too. haha, what am I going to do when this 3rd one comes in September?
    It sounds like you are doing good! Hopefully your DH does not have to leave you and your precious girls too often!

  25. I used a bath seat (you can buy at Walmart or Babies R Us) and I had those mitten/wash clothes for my hands (at least one of my hands). They really helped me hold the squirmy monkey and wash at the same time. The seat was a blessing. They can sit in a suctioned seat but still have access to everything in the tub. Highly recommend one of those.

    Good luck.

  26. When my boys would do that trick, we'd tell them "no, we sit in the tub to be safe." and sit them down. The 2nd time we'd tell them the same and lift them out. They'd get a quick washcloth wipe down and then dried off. It took time, but they learned it was more fun to be in the warm bath with the toys than standing wet & cold while we cleaned them & dried them off.

  27. My husband was out of town until yesterday, too! And you're right. Evenings are the hardest. Making dinner by yourself, bathing the kids by yourself, putting the kids to bed by yourself, cleaning the house by yourself. How do single parents do it?

  28. my daughter showers with me, or else i get in the bath with her. otherwise she stands up in the bath and tries to climb out.

  29. We have bath toys to play with that we cycle in and out (Dollarama glowing frogs and ducks are particularly popular, as are a set of three buckets, some with holes in the sides and bottoms - something like the buckets featured here: http://saras-toy-box.blogspot.com/2007/12/plastic-bath-toys-no-more-toxic-rubber.html and a set of floating foam letters and numbers)

    Our rule is that as soon as you stand up, bath time is OVER. Elizabeth likes the bath, so she sits.

  30. Awwww you are too cute! But I understand, I miss my husband when he is at work for more then 8 hours LOL!!!

    I love reading wife and mothers that love, I mean LOVE their spouse it's so encouraging :-)

    Bath issue, I put both our daughter in the tub with minimal waster and give them bath crayons (they love to draw)so it keeps them busy and they get clean faster,
    When they were younger bath book (plastic book safe for water) were good too :-)

    I guess anything that would keep their little hand and mind busy would be a help for you :-)

    Have a wonderful weekend


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