Before I had kids, I remember thinking, "I SO want to be the fun mom."
You know the one...the one who jumps on the bed with her kids and takes her kids out to breakfast in their pajamas and makes the BEST chocolate chip cookies (and lets her kids lick the spoon).
I still want to be that...and, often, I am. But I have to work at it. It's much easier to be spontaneous and cool when you're the babysitter, for example. You can get out all of the paint supplies (and not clean them up). You can let the kids stay up late (and not worry about routines). You can be loud and crazy and run around playing Duck, Duck, Goose 27 times (and then go home, read a book, take a hot bath, and sleep the whole night).
As a mom, being fun requires preparation, energy, and selflessness. Being spontaneous requires...planning. Imagine that.
But it's something that I am committed to. I don't want to be too tired to think up cool crafts and pack extravagant picnics and bake super messy sugar cookies. I want to say, "Let's go to the park and have a swinging contest!" and "Let's make puppets and put on a puppet show!" and "We're going to make the biggest sundaes ever with whipped cream and cherries!" and "What? It's bedtime? Let's go out on a walk with our flashlights in the dark!"
Obviously, it's not possible or good or healthy to be all "fun," all of the time...but I could definitely stand for a little more spontaneity in my life. I want to say, "Yes, let's do it!" and "Why, not?" and "That's a great idea!"...NOT "I'm so tired" or "It will be too messy" or "I need to check my e-mail." Blah.
I resolve to be FUN. Once and for all.
Are you with me?
We are game playing family (board games, card games, outdoor games) which I love. I do have trouble doing the spontaneous "let's make a mess" things...but I try to lighten up and your post is a good reminder-I do want to be fun!
Definitely! When we were little, my mom was the most fun ever. She was always ready to play with us and to let us make messes (huge messes). I have great memories from that, and I hope I'm at least as good at having fun as she was.
I've always wanted to be the fun mom. Since Lily is just 12 months old our fun is just running around the living room for now, I hope that once she's able to do more I don't slip up and end up not being fun.
What a great reminder! There are many times where I catch myself being a little too uptight about keeping things "neat" around the house. Spontanity is something that I really have to work on with my girls - but when it does occur, it can really make for some great memories!
Agree! Today, we turned OFF the TV for the whole day (hasn't happened in a long time around here) and the kids hardly noticed, yay! We even searched the neighborhood to find Checkers (the game) for the boys to learn how to play, that in itself was FUN hunt! Thankfully we found it and Ezra (5 1/2 yrs old) is learning how to NOT be a sore loser, not so FUN. You can't always win, but life isn't always just about fun, right?
It's one of my goals right now to spend less time on the computer (regardless of the fact that I own a business) during my kids waking hours. That being said, I like to sneak fun into our day by letting my kids "help" with daily chores. They love spending time with me in the kitchen, and since I'm there a lot, that works out nicely. It's amazing what even a little 2 year old can do in the kitchen! And laundry, well, our deal is, they can lay in the basket with the warm clothes and cover each other up with the clothes, then throw them all up in the air, if they help me fold them and put them away after. They LOVE it. It's cheating, i know, but still fun, right?
I am totally with you.
I want to be the fun mom.
I am not naturally a very fun/spontaneous/witty/messy/creative person.
I agree that fun/spontaneity takes a lot of planning (and clean up).
I have never really made a commitment to it, but I am going to. I'm going to practice saying "yes!"
Thanks for the push in the right direction.
Oh how I miss cookies. HA! Boy, do I. I hope me and the kids can enjoy junk food again, only on occasion.
I like being a fun Mom, though I am not a fun Mom every day. Sometimes I get mad at myself for being so un-fun!
Seems like the fun flows a lot easier and more naturally when the weather is nice, and we're out of the house.
Nell
So many times...you say what I think all the time!! I had visions of what kind of Mom I would be...and all too often, the real me does not fit the visions. I have to loosen up...let go of a few OCD issues involving baking and cooking and messes. I have to start swinging! Thanks for the reminder!
I need to try harder to be fun, too!
Oh yes. You should have seen my sister-in-laws face the first time she found out that I let Sugar jump on our bed with me... it was priceless. Not that my sister-in-law isn't a fun mom, she is - just in different ways than I am, and her kids are older...
For me, the biggest thing I have to do though in order to make sure I can be a fun mom is to plan for it - I plan trips to the park, nights to stay up later than normal, long walks or bike rides at the local nature area - I plan them by getting my has-to-get-done-NOW work done, and insisting on nap times and bed times and restful sit-on-the-couch-and-cuddle-while-reading times in order to keep everyone rested enough that we stay in good moods and can enjoy those fun times.
Oh and I agree with Dawn - I work at saying "yes" even when I want to say "no" I find that often my motivation for saying "no" is selfish and if I'll just give in and say yes instead I'll be glad I did in the long run and my little ones will be happier in the short run (and the long run too!)
Yep, I agree with Jenny N. - the best memories I have of being a kid are not following rules or routines. The rules and routines are what make the "spontaneous" moments the most fun though. I resolve to be a more "fun" mom this year!
A fellow blogger with 8 kids once wrote advice to new-ish mothers on how to be a good mom. One of the pieces of advice was to break the rules every once in a while to let in a little fun. I remember my parents doing this every so often when I was little and those are the memories that stick out as my most favorite times.
Great post!
Yes, absolutely! I just did a post on the simple things http://www.womenslifelink.com/fortunate-friday-the-simple-things/. We just have to slow down and find our inner child again.
I work REALLY hard at trying to say yes as much as possible. It's so easy to say no, sometimes it jumps right out of your mouth before you even really hear or process the request~ Love the first shot....looks so fun!
I love this! I'm in!
On...forgot to mention...I LOVE the dots on her wall and you look amazing baking cookies! Happy Birthday to you!
I am with you! I want to be a fun mom too! And you are right...being spontaneous does involve some planning - with kids at least. I have to mentally prepare myself for the mess that may follow, etc. Today it is raining buckets here and instead of doing what I really want to to (sit on the couch and be cozy) we went outside and got soaked stomping in puddles. An extra load of laundry is worth the joy on my kiddos faces as they are getting more and more wet by the minute!