Themed Weekend: Friends

hallmark card thoreau friendshipThis is going to sound horrible, but...

do you ever feel too exhausted for friendship?

After loading the dishwasher, doing laundry, checking e-mail, reading stories, zooming around the house like an airplane, painting with water paints, rocking my baby, scheduling dentist appointments, making dinner, making business plans, and connecting with my husband...I just feel tired.

Happy, but tired.

I think about my friends all of the time. I wonder how Rhonda's pregnancy is treating her, how Donita's running plan is going, and how Jenny's baby is. I think about Germaine and how much fun we have together, how we make each other laugh out loud and challenge each other to think. I think about Sandy and Ashley, Kristen and Darcie, Danielle and Christina, and my sisters. And so many others.

But it's so hard to find the time (and energy) to maintain those friendships. Deep down, I mostly just hope and pray that we can all give each other a little grace in this season - this crazy season of wiping bottoms, singing the ABCs, nursing every few hours, getting out all of the toys and then picking them all up (all.day.long.). This is a short season.

For now, I can do little things, like:

  • invite you over for mac 'n cheese, or
  • meet you for a 20-minute run, or
  • send you a greeting card, or
  • text message you to say hi

little-sister-sleeping-september-2009But, beyond that, I'm pretty much maxed out. My schedule is full. My body is tired. And my babies are growing up. I don't want to miss this.

But please know that I also miss you.

I just haven't figured out how to do it all, be it all {If you know the secret, tell me quick}.

YOUR TURN: How often do you get together with your friends?

P.S. This weekend is all about friendship - connecting, entertaining, meeting and greeting. Stay tuned for product reviews, giveaways, and ideas. Won't you join me?

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22 comments on “Themed Weekend: Friends”

  1. I haven't figured it out yet, not really anyway. During the week I'm spent, if I get a couple short "Hi" texts in and a few blog comments I'm doing good. Since its still nice out we've had friends over for bbq's the last couple of weekends. Its been really nice. We just invite one couple at a time that way we can manage it all. I have no idea how we will get together during the winter.

  2. I have a few good friends that live in this town that I've met since we moved here. We get together every few weeks. I see my family quite a bit and my sisters. They're my best friends!!!

  3. I totally agree!
    Fortunately I have a sister that lives 5 minutes away and our families get together once a week or so.
    I also am beginning to understand the rarity and the pure joy of having a close friend in my neighborhood...just 3 doors down. We get the benefit of having a lot of Not-Scheduled time together. Oh hey, we're both at the mailbox or we're both doing yard work out front so we chat for 15 minutes. Her kids are riding bikes..."quick grab your bike" I say and we head out the door. Let's walk with the older kids to the bus stop today. It's great fun.

  4. Not often enough--but I did see my best pal from high school over the weekend. It was so great to catch up with her. I would say I sneak in one meaningful meeting with friends a month and then lots of little connections--coffee a playdate etc when the kids are also around.

  5. I really like how much you think of others, these friendship posts are great! One of my girlfriends and I will go on shopping dates, grocery or other, but usually at night by ourselves! We get things done and we get to hang out and we get to shop!

  6. I don't get together with friends often enough! and when I do, it's a mix of screaming kids (usually mine) and partial conversations!

    I'm like you though, I prefer to just have it very casual with a great bowl of mac N cheese!

  7. Exactly.

    I see my best friend about twice a year - we live 4 hours apart. We talk a couple of times a month. The rest of my friends - I see them at church or we chat on the phone for a few minutes every once in a while. I really miss them. I love my life - getting to be mommy to my kids, but I do miss spending time with my friends - people my age, people that I have fun memories with.

    I think it's one reason I've taken to the blogosphere so much - I get a bit of that friend connection with other people and it fits into my schedule whenever it works for me - be that at 3am or 3pm or anytime in between.

  8. Hmmm, I understand the frustration and the fatigue and the "season-of-life" argument, but for me, having a social life outside of my family is an absolute must. Most of my close friends are also moms, so we are always understanding of each other when family life trumps our social plans, but we really make efforts to put events on the calendar and stay connected. I have found it to be a stress reliever and so important for my sanity and well being to have some adult time to look forward to. The "secret" we have found, is a weekly playdate at one of our houses. The hostess makes the coffee and has pretzels for the kids, and one of us bakes something yummy for the mamas. Sometimes there are 4 of us, sometimes as many as 8. Most of us live in the same part of town. We share parenting struggles, successes, dreams, prayer requests, and more. Then once a month or so we try to plan a Moms Night Out, which are always so much fun. I highly recommend making the effort!

  9. You're so right...sometimes maintaining friendships can be exhausting! That's why me and my very best friends have come up with the drop in system. We never plan anything, but we're always open for anyone to drop in at anytime. I also call my best friend and my sister almost every day -sometimes even 2,3, or 4 times a day. It's like phone twitter!

  10. So true... oh so true...

    I really believe the beauty of true friendship is understanding. True friends know we are tired and exhausted and they love us anyway.

    I completely agree that we need to make our friends feel loved and appreciated even when we are too tired for a conversation or a girls night out!

  11. Oh. my. yes. Being a mom has really changed the type of friend I am, and I am so grateful for forgiving friends. There really is just too much to do. At the end of the day, I'm never at the bottom of the list, and although I genuinely love my friends it can be hard to keep up. I'm lucky to have a couple of mom friends with kids the same age, so we get together for playgroups. But, the non-parent friends...yikes! They often end up having to come out to visit me...which luckily is fine by them.

  12. Oh, Stephanie...this is probably THE biggest struggle in my life right now! I'm trying to maintain friendships, both with those who live nearby and those who I grew up with and moved far away, and I feel like it's a constant battle. My children and husband come first, obviously. But after them, work, and the house, time has run out, and it's 10pm and I just want to fall into bed or have 10 minutes of "me" time before starting it all over at 6:30 the next morning! So, if anyone does have the secret, let me know!!! :)

  13. Not often enough. I go on playdates with the kids and our friends a few times a week, but we all know that chasing kids around the playground leaves very little time for actual talking and catching up. It's so hard to balance it all, but luckily my friends are all in the same boat and understand.

  14. my husband and i usually take turns going out once a week to have some time with our friends. i look forward to a cheapy movie night or a fondue night or sometimes an adult couples game night.

  15. Oh boy, do I know how you feel!! I often refer to my "season" as a whirlwind. Our new chapter involves our daughter in school full-time, my job schedule, my husband's crazy work schedule and now school schedule, activities to keep our son busy throughout the day...and then household stuff. I rarely find time for "friend time"! I just realized how "out of touch" I have been with friends, when several of them forgot my birthday! If that isn't a wake-up call, I don't know what would be:)

    You are often on my mind too! I wonder if we couldn't schedule a time at least once a month to have a "mac and cheese" lunch together:)

  16. I have recently stopped my monthly Bunco group to have an extra evening a month at home. I did go out last Saturday night for a friends birthday. It was really fun! Besides that, it had been a long time.

  17. You said it better than I did. I venture to guess most of us mothers with young children feel the same way.

    And you're right. This season is short. We need to remember that. Soon enough we'll have too much time on our hands.

    Nell

  18. I feel this way all the time. At this point, I rarely see my friends but it's amazing how much a quick text or email can encourage me and remind me of our friendship. To everything there is a season right?

  19. I know exactly how you feel. By the time night rolls around, which seems to be the best time to get together with friends, all I want to do is collapse on the couch and take advantage of the houseful of silence.

    So, if you figure out the secret, let me know. I'm curious too.

  20. It depends on everyone's schedules. My best friends and I enjoy card making and sharing ideas!
    We take classes once a month or so and then take turns every month hosting a get-together.
    It does take effort, but is well worth it.
    Thanks, Cindi

  21. Oh girl, you are not the only one. I feel like motherhood is a season when friendships take a backseat, especially in the early years. But the friends you have most likely are in the same stage and feel the same way. And totally understand. ;)

  22. So true. I have a girls night out every other month. Then I TRY to call my friends once a week but sometimes every other week. It is real hard to keep them up. It is so needed, because sometimes you need to talk to someone as an adult and somethimes you need to talk to another woman! I don't have any secrets, but I think that your friends will still be there when you need them, that's what friends are for. They understand!

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