I have notepads all over the house with sketches and doodles and phrases on them.
Of all the things I want to do – and all of the places I want to go – and all of the qualities I want to be.
I write down my goals weekly.
I dream of:
- planting a vegetable garden
- taking a photography class
- writing a book
- speaking at conferences
- getting my PhD
- running in another 5K (and maybe in a 1/2 marathon…someday)
- living in a master-planned community in my dream house
I envision it all down to the tiniest detail.
Most of all, however, I aspire to be a wonderful wife and mother.
I want my girls to look back on these days and say, “My mom was patient and compassionate and spontaneously fun. She loved others. She loved our daddy. And, oh, how she loved us! She would stop anything that she was doing in a heartbeat to answer our questions, to play with us, to truly listen. She worked hard and achieved so many unbelievable accomplishments, but her work was always “second” to her family. She had this mesmerizing smile, these warm eyes, this incredible way with people. Everyone immediately loved her because they knew she cared. She thought of others before herself. She taught us to see the best in others, to give more than was required of us for every task, to question the status quo, to always stand up for what was right, to be GREAT and not just good.”
But…some days I’m tired. Some days I stay on the computer too long. Some days I say “just a minute” and “can you just do it yourself?” and “not now” too many times while I work on projects around the house. Some days…some moments…I’m not the mom that I want to be.
For me, Mother’s Day causes me to reflect more than anything. On the kind of mother I am…and the kind of mother I want to be. There are so many things I want to change – so many areas where I fall short.
Thank goodness God isn’t finished with me yet.
YOUR TURN: What kind of legacy do you want to leave for your kids?
***Stay tuned this weekend for posts about motherhood and for ideas about how we can shower the mothers in our lives with gifts (both material and immaterial) on May 10, 2009…and on every day throughout the year. And there will be giveaways too – I wouldn’t want to forget to mention that!