"Don't bring your baby into bed with you. It will ruin your sex life."
I've heard a lot of people say or write that sentiment. Authoritatively. With a swoosh of the head and a sure smile.
They warn that bringing baby in between the covers will magically make your sex life disappear. Poof! You'll lose all desire or be laying in bed looking over at each other longingly while the baby laughs deviously.
I have some refreshing news for you. Your sex life can be flourishing and fun (OR ho-hum and halfhearted)...regardless of your sleeping arrangement.
I know plenty of couples that had their baby sleep in another room from day one that have mediocre (or miserable) marriages. I can say the same for some co-sleeping couples. The location where baby rests her head is irrelevant.
"But...but...but...," the dissenters sputter. "But the bed! It's the marriage bed. That's where we do what we do."
Yada. Yada. Yada. And what I mean by that is that you can "yada" on other places besides the bed at 9 pm. Get a little creative, whydontcha? About the time and the place.
I don't want to get into too many specifics here (I'm already a bit outside of my "comfort zone" with this topic), but I do want to tell you that your sex life can be spontaneous and sweet if your baby sleeps in your bed. So don't let the naysayers get you down.
In our house, having a sleeping baby in our bed equals peace and rest...for all of us. And there's no less passion here.
If you choose not to co-sleep, that's fine by me. Every family is free to make their own sleep choices. But...will you do me a favor? When you list off reasons why you don't co-sleep, don't say, "cosleeping ruins your sex life."
Because it doesn't.
Lack of communication? Fighting? Anger? Grudges? Selfishness? THOSE things can ruin your sex life.
Co-sleeping, however, is not the culprit.
And while we're talking about sex...you should make time for it tonight (as should I). Sex relieves stress, boosts immunity (who needs the H1N1 vaccine anyway?), burns calories, improves intimacy (it's one of the keys to a good marriage, actually), and helps you sleep better.
NOTE: Our littlest is now 7 months old and is no longer in our bed because she's crawling all over the place and that arrangement would be too dangerous. She is, however, still in our room...right where we want her to be.