My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper

My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper 1

  • "How is your baby sleeping?"
  • "Is she a 'good' sleeper?"
  • "Does she sleep through the night?"

People still ask me those questions.

I always hesitate before responding.

The most truthful answer is that she is a wonderful sleeper and that we are all well-rested. If there ever is any lack of sleep in our house, it is because Tim and I are crazy and we stay up way too late working on projects and talking.

That being said, my 14-month-old still wakes up...oh, it's hard to count because I don't keep track...5+ times a night. Maybe more. Sometimes less.

When she wakens and cries/calls, I will immediately go to her and lay beside her, often nursing her. She usually doesn't even open her eyes. She just turns to me, latches on, sighs contentedly, and falls back to sleep. When she doesn't nurse, she usually just puts her hand on my cheek or my chest - and falls back to sleep. I then get up and return to whatever I was doing. At around 2am, I usually go into her room for the night and we both sleep until around 8am. It's a beautiful thing.

My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper 2When people ask me how my baby is sleeping, I usually simply say, "Great!" and leave it at that. But sometimes I say more because I want people to know that it's normal for little ones to require gentle parenting in the night. For some reason, our culture thinks the norm is for babies to sleep 8-12 hours per night, from 6 weeks on...and CERTAINLY by 6 months, 1 year, and beyond!

I actually think the opposite is true: [Most] babies wake up at night. Sometimes into toddlerhood. And it doesn't make you a bad parent or your baby a bad sleeper if they do. I just want you to know that.

There also is a widely accepted myth that if you respond to your baby's cries, then your baby will never be able to "soothe themselves to sleep." Not true. Our 3-year-old sleeps all night long. In her own bed. Every night. Until approximately 8am.

When our firstborn was an itty bitty baby, I remember feeling pressured by the "Is your baby sleeping through the night?" question. Like it was some kind of competition and my baby was in last place. Other new parents would smile blissfully and describe how their babies slept 10 hours a night from week 2, etc. They'd say, "Oh, we put him on a schedule right away!" or "She just cried for 1 hour straight for 3 nights and she's slept great ever since!"

One time, we decided to *try* cry-it-out too. That lasted for about 2 minutes (what a truly unkind way to treat another human being, especially a baby!). (oh man - am I going to get comments about that!). (I thought about editing, but I can't). (P.S. we can still be friends even if we disagree).

Shortly thereafter, we gave away our crib to a friend, bought a mattress for the floor, decided to respond every time our baby cried...and slept happily ever after.

I'm mostly writing this to say...If your baby is waking up in the night, it's okay. There is no "Sleeping Baby" category in the Olympics. Your baby is probably doing just fine...and SO ARE YOU.

Speaking of the Olympics, you have heard about Baby Quad-Racing, right? Because my baby's totally been practicing:

My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper 3 My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper 4

What Olympic event has your baby been practicing for? (Also - Is your baby waking in the night?)

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52 comments on “My baby is such a "GOOD" sleeper”

  1. THANK YOU!!!! Both my sisters are CIO'ters with their kids... Im the only one that can't do it. We tried it when my now 2 year old was 13 months and it worked - for a while. Then she kept waking up and back to me snuggling with her. She still goes to sleep ' touching me'. My arm, neck, anything. I'll take 2 minutes of that over 30 minutes of screaming.

    Now we have baby number 2 and again - I feel the pressure to sleep train - and this came at the right time. I don't mind snuggling my kids to sleep - after all - in a few years they won't want all that affection.

  2. I needed to read this today. I cannot get over the comments from well intentioned moms asking about our 15 day old baby. She is so confused about nights and days and sometimes it's overwhelming- but I am not moving her out of the room and I will hold her and let her sleep in my arms and I am not going to feel guilty about bringing her into bed with me. It makes her feel safe and loved...we can sleep in the morning or afternoon. Can I just pass this out to every person with advice about sleep training? She is brand new! Thanks for the reassurance that we are doing the right thing. And think of me between the hours of 12-4 am when sweet Hannah needs her mommy the most.

  3. Can I say I love your blog? Just recently found it and trying to catch up on old posts. I have agrees with everything I've read so far! Thanks for posting this just so people know that it is normal and healthy for babies and toddlers to wake at night! My 18 month old wakes 4-6 times a night to nurse. My 3 year old used to wake up until he was 18 months old and now he usually sleeps through the night. It is amazing to read the inaccurate and harmful info out there about baby sleep habits. When my kids were infants, I tried to avoid the discussion since they would be labeled bad babies. Actually, it is healthier for infants to wake up at night and shows their brains are working properly.

  4. THANK YOU for this. I know it's an older post, but I stumbled upon it and it had me smiling/nearly crying. Our little guy is nearly 11 months old and I'm so tired of feeling frustrated/like a failure with how often he gets up at night. Mostly he sleeps with us, but lately he has decided to roll, hit, and fling his entire body all around the bed around 2am. Which at that time I am half awake and on the verge of a breakdown. So, we've been trying him in his crib (which he hardly knew until he was about 7 months) and he's loves it. Until 2 am. Last night, however, in a desperate attempt to sleep well in our queen sized bed I rocked him for a solid hour until my husband took over and went and slept with him in the guest bed. (I did feel a little bad about this, but was really too tired. ;)

    Needless to say, I woke up feeling frustrated and wondering if we're doing the right thing. My husband asked me at 7am this morning, "His whole life we've always slept next to me, why do you think all the sudden he'd want to sleep in his bed all alone? It's cold in there!" (Bless my tender hubby.) And he's right. He's conditioned to love sleeping with us. And I love it too.

    Honestly, reading your post was such a blessing. So many times when I hear other young mom say "Oh yeah, my child slept through the night right after I read babywise." I get this kind of jealous feeling and wonder if it's all worth it. When Jack falls asleep in my arms and I look down at him, it always hits me like a ton of bricks how thankful I am that I have those moments with him...because I know they won't last long.

    Thanks for reminding me we're not on our own with this one. That there are other mothers out there who are still nursing their solid-eating-kiddos 5-6 times a night. Phew, what a relief. Thanks also for your blog, I just found it and I love it. Your genuine nature is great and WOW you're upcoming adventure sounds incredible!!! Come to Prescott!!

    Love,
    Mel

    1. Hi Mel! Thanks so much for kind and thoughtful comment.

      It sounds like you are a gentle mama who is following her instincts (and that is awesome).

      Our 18-month-old still wakes up many times throughout the night to nurse. Her big sister (just-turned-4) did the same thing, but now she sleeps in her own bed all through the night - every night.

      My husband and I always talk about how "normal" it actually is for babies and toddlers to wake throughout the night. I'd wake up too if I couldn't pull the covers over me if I got cold...or get a drink of water if I was thirsty. And who says babies like to sleep all alone? I'm in my late twenties and I don't even like sleeping by myself! ;)

  5. LOVE LOVE LOVE your post! Total agreement with no CIO and love your honesty in the face of a possible negative response! We are night nursing and co-sleeping with Gabi (19 months) and Bobby (4) will sometimes join us if he has a bad dream or gets lonely. My best advice to new parents is get a king sized bed!

  6. So funny how different people are. We coached our daughter to sleep on her own starting when she was just 2 weeks old, never letting her cry more than 20 minutes before going in to soothe her. Luckily, 20 minutes of crying only happened one time on one or two nights. I never found it to be cruel since it was such a short time. She naturally fell into sleeping through the night without much aid from us, which led me to believe that a full night of sleep was exactly what her body needed. It was a wonderful situation for us both. She was always well rested and I never went crazy from lack of sleep (which tends to happen when I don't get good sleep).

  7. NOT night nursing and co-sleeping seems so complicated to me. And I don't really believe in "good" and "bad" to describe anything babies do. :)

  8. I agree with you that it's normal for a baby to wake up in the night; I just wish I could agree that I am well-rested. My little boy spoiled me by sleeping through the night from about 3-5 months; now at 8 months he cries, nurses, kicks me in the c-section incision, and burrows into my pillow all night long.

  9. i have to confess, my 4 year old rarely sleeps through the night. she usually comes into our bed and cuddles in. Once she is on my arm, she is out for the count. I'll get up in the morning, pull my arm out from under her and she stays asleep until 8. i love getting to cuddle with her during the night, but the bigger they get the harder it is. we finally broke our 7 year old of the habit (yes, for years I slept with both girls- one on each arm) by paying her 1$ per night. She's saving up for roller blades.

    our girls are excited it is now bike and scooter season.

  10. The first thing a parent can do to help a baby sleep through the night is to set up a nightly bedtime routine. Before going to bed make the house a quiet relaxing environment, dim the lights, turn down the noise.

  11. I absolutely love this post... Son #1 woke several times a night and still wakes once a night at 4... Baby #2 wakes once a night and is just a different kind of baby. I completely agree with your sentiments: Babies are different and I too believe in 'gentle parenting in the night'. ; )

  12. I totally agree that we do rely far too much on books and methods instead of trusting our heart when it comes to parenting. My children are 2 and 5 and a lot of nights still wake up. Whether its a bad dream or just wanting a hug, I think its important to tend to kids needs no matter what time they happen.

  13. I think people lean way to much on what the books say and don't do what is best for their specific child. Children aren't cookie cutters that are going to fit into an exact mold. I find books on sleeping and babies to be a stressful read and I now do whatever seems best for my baby.

    Good post.

  14. Stephanie, I think this is a great post - mostly. :) It could have used a little editing. (He, he, he...)
    I don't "follow" the cry it out method. I've never read baby wise & I don't schedule my kids.
    All my kids still do have wake up times, most nights.
    Depending on the type of cry, we sometimes go in to calm them & see what is wrong.
    My 1 year old generally only nurses in early morning 5 or 6 am. But, sometimes more.
    BUT, we often do let them go to sleep on their own. Sometimes my babies cry for a few minutes before they fall asleep.
    I'm not so sure that we are unkind to let them cry for a few minutes. And, I am not convinced they are loosing brain cells. (I cried sometimes as a baby. I wonder how smart I would be if I never was allowed to cry. Ha! Just kidding, sort of...)
    I saw with my oldest, when she was an infant, that rocking her or anything like that just seemed to agitate her. She wanted to lay in bed, by herself, so she could sleep. And, sometimes she cried a little bit, because she was sleepy. But, she would cry more, if I tried to "soothe" her.
    I have been told that letting my baby cry is selfish. And, I guess unkind. ;) But, I really don't agree. Sometimes they seem to need that, in order to fall asleep.
    I'm not saying all kids need that. My son has always been different. He is more snuggly, cuddly, & wanting for soothing from us. So, we give it to him.
    Hey. We can still be blog friends, even though we disagree.

  15. The best advice I could ever to every mom out there is this,"Do what you feel is best for YOU and YOUR family!" So many people have ideas and their own thoughts on how people should parent. I have really learned through being a mommy not to care about what other people think and to always do what is in my heart!

    Great post, Stephanie! I love your honesty!

  16. Your post ROCKS! I loved it. I read it. And RE-read it. Its so true....My daughter is now 5 and I have to say, she still has a lot of sleep issues. Fellow parents mostly and some family STILL ask us these sleep questions...at this point, I really feel like WHATEVER whenever I am asked this stuff! Kind of a bad attitude, I know---but you realize after five years of dealing with sleep issues that every child goes through some sort of sleep issue at some point or another, some longer than others....its all normal....and its all FINE! However you deal with it is how you deal with it. After several years (and some sleep deprivation) I finally just started to answer "fine" or "good" when people asked me this question. Had to coach my husband to do the same. Otherwise I found you get lectured by a lot of well meaning but REALLY annoying people!!! So anyway, my point is...my kid is now five and she is sleeping "good." lol
    Thanks for your awesome post-really hit a note with me!!!!
    Jessie
    http://lifeofjunecleaver.blogspot.com/

  17. Wonderful thoughts. With our first babe, I was always worried about what other thought and struggled to answer that question about STTN (sleeping through the night). I finally just gave it up, and did my own thing quietly. It wasn't until now with my second, that I have been more willing to talk about how we co-sleep and nurse through the night. I get so much more sleep and amazingly, my baby loves it and has actually started sleeping through the night all on her own.

  18. My son is training for the Olympic event of EATING! My daughter? Um, probably puma discovery - she is constantly searching for and pretending to find pumas!
    You know that I'm with you on not letting them cry it out. Oh I just can't do it!
    My kids do both sleep through the night without waking up though. Lilly tends to wake up pretty early, so we have girl time. Zac just loves to sleep.
    I'm impressed with how you and your hubby adjusted to your children's needs in regard to sleep - very admirable!

  19. These are great thoughts. And I completely agree. My little guy is a wonderful sleeper. He just doesn't need much of it at all, which can be extremely exhausting for me at times. But I love his exuberance for life. He just doesn't want to miss anything. He is a snuggler and sleeps with us. We all sleep best this way. We recently matched up our full mattress with a single and it has made a giant over-sized bed in our room. We still all end up in one small space most nights. :-)
    If my little guy was training for an Olympic sport right now, I'd have to say sprinting, shot put, or some kind of trampoline jumping. He's just over two, and he still wakes up at night and goes to sleep again pretty easily with a little snuggling.

  20. Oh, Stephanie, thank you! That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! My 9-month old still wakes up 4+ times per night and it is SO easy to get discouraged when you hear other people talk. It is easy to think it's your fault. My 2-year old didn't sleep through the night until about age 2, but I have no regrets! I love being able to look back and know that we always responded to our babies' cries. Thanks for the encouragement to keep parenting gently all through the night!

  21. I did do the whole cry-it-out thing with my older son. It was a huge ordeal, and took two or three weeks of LOTS of crying before he could fall asleep on his own, nap at regular times, and sleep through the night. He was almost a year old.

    My second son was about 6 months old when I let him cry for 5 or 10 minutes one nap time. I went in and picked him up and he immediately fell asleep in my arms. The next day, the same thing happened, and he never really had any sleep issues after that. He even voluntarily gave up the binky soon after learning how to sleep on his own!

    My way of thinking on infants has changed a lot, though, and when we have a third baby, I don't think I'll ever let it become such a big issue like I did with my first.

  22. I couldn't agree with you more. With each child I have forced out those voices that have told me how to do things more and more. We co-slept with Kaiya (our third) and as she got bigger and outgrew her "nest", we moved her into a bassinet in our room and then started putting her to bed in her crib in her room until she woke to nurse and would keep her in bed with me. She now falls asleep in her crib at 7:30 pm after nursing and doesn't wake until 7:00 am to nurse again. She has always been a good sleeper and I have always known that she only wakes up if she needs me or something and I have always responded to her right away. We actually have a kid-sized cot (a.k.a. "the nest")in our room that is for the bigger kids if they are having a rough night or just want to sleep near Mommy or Daddy. I like it that way. They like their bed and sometimes just want to sleep closer to us. My favorite time is on Saturday mornings when all three of my kids pile into bed and snuggle with us while we sip on our coffee. It feels a little bit like I imagine heaven to feel. :)

  23. And another thing :-)

    When I gave up the expectation that babies are supposed to be sleeping thru the night by age whatever.....I became a better more relaxed parent. With my sons (now 21 and 19) I was always trying to get them to sleep longer and to not wake up. I did not co-sleep. With the girls, I had a parenting revolution. I started to listen to my God-given mama instincts. I slept with them, I nursed them often and I gave up the expectation of sleeping thru the night. What a moment of freedom!

  24. I think what people forget or are brainwashed to believe is that we are not needed as parents at night. Babies wake up for so many reasons and part of parenting includes actually parenting at night.
    The next myth you should tackle Stephanie is that nursing your baby thru the night will cause cavaties.

  25. My daughter wakes up four times every night to breastfeed from birth to about 11months, but even then she finally wakes up at about 10am. Now that she eats formula, she sleeps from 11pm to about 11am straight. I get scared sometimes but she seems to be well rested and never fall sick. So I am grateful for that. My cousin's daughter is the opposite, she wakes up five to six times every night, but still sleeps all the way till about 12noon. Every child is different, the most important thing is for them to sleep well abd get the most rest.

  26. I know I have said this a million times, but I love your blog! I feel like I can come over and read some greatly inspiring post or get a good laugh & most of all can read how it is ok to not be by the book with our kids!!

    When my son was a baby I struggled with the whole sleeping through the night question. There was no way I was going to let him cry and usually I heard him before he even let out a cry & was right there in his room(once he moved out of ours). I didn't love missing out on sleep, but I truly treasured the middle of the night/all through the night nursings. It was our time & all though very sleepy I loved every minute of it. When he decided to wean I missed it (even though it had been a little over a year). And now at 2 1/2 there are nights he still wakes up & calls for me. Not very often probably only every couple of weeks. Although, we haven't nursed in a long time when he calls for me in the middle of the night I have no problem going to him and rocking! Because one day these days will be gone & sometimes the middle of the night is the sweetest time with an independent 2 year old.

    Thanks for making me feel like it is ok to do it my way & not the some doctor written book way!

  27. First, the picture of your baby sleeping is just so beautiful. I have always thought that a sleeping baby is one of the most peaceful sights on Earth.

    I think your original CIO post is what made me fall in love with your blog. Sleep has been our biggest issue in my son's 17 months. I think it all started when I was pregnant and some well-meaning stranger in Disney World saw that I was pregnant and recommended the book "Baby Wise" to me. "Baby Wise" recommends an eat-play-sleep schedule that repeats itself every 2.5-3 hours. The book promised that over 90% of babies on this schedule sleep through the night at 8 weeks. I bought that hook, line, and sinker! Of course, when my son continued waking every 3 hours to nurse, I felt like a failure. Plus all the people who ask how he's sleeping just made me feel worse. Finally, I stopped worrying about his sleep, and wouldn't you know it, he started sleeping through the night at 12 months. Now at 17 months, he still wakes occasionally, but is pretty good about getting back to sleep after a hug or pat on the back.

    One thing that really helped me were some words of advice from our pediatrician. She said that human babies are the most neurologically immature primates in the world - they can't walk, keep themselves warm, talk, feed themselves, or reason. Obviously, because of this, they need to be around their parents as much as possible. They aren't CAPABLE of being independent or soothing themselves!

  28. With my oldest, everyone was eager to pitch me their baby-parenting philosophy, and as you know, the conversation usually starts with, "So how does he sleep?" I, too, typically replied, "Great!" Because he really WAS sleeping well. To us, that meant that he fell asleep nursing, was laid in his bed, then woke a few hours later and moved to our bed to nurse and sleep the rest of the night. He was rested, I was rested, my husband was rested. No parenting question irritates me as much as the sleep one, being that it's usually being used to push an agenda, one way or the other!

  29. My answer to that is...CRAPPY. My three year old, since birth has slept at best a fitful, scream laden sleep. Not because I lack the skill or because we forgot to try some obvious or obscure sleep technique. Just recently we decided, "this isn't normal" and now we are faced with issues like possible sleep apnea, brain tumors, seizure disorders, RLS, childhood leukemia and the list goes on. WE have endless crazy tests (like the one where they say we have to keep our THREE year old up to midnight then wake him up at four, for a test that isn't until 9am...yeah right). to ge through in the next 3 weeks and it is going to be TORTURE. But, hopefully in the end it will help him get the rest he needs so he can function properly (and all the rest of the family too). The things we do for our children...so, my point...don't ask people how their kids are sleeping because you might ned up talking to someone like. Sleep deprived (for three years), zombie like, barely making it through the day mom. Seriously, dude, in my books it's like asking someone :when are you due" and realizing they had the baby EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO.

    Heh.
    K.

  30. Someone told me when my first son was born that he only needed to eat every 3 hours... oh how I wish I'd never heard that! What he really needed was about every hour and a half at first. Instead he would scream and cry until we had to put him down because we were going crazy. Combine that with the fact that at 10 days old my MIL brought me bran muffins that I ate for a week and gave him gas... oh we did NOT have a fun time with him until about 4 months old! Then he finally settled down and only wanted to eat once or twice in the "night" - between 11pm and 6am.

    With my new little guy I just nurse him any time he cries. Sometimes he eats and occasionally he just wants to be held. Unfortunately I can't just nurse him in bed and go back to sleep or I would be sleeping in spit-up. He absolutely has to be burped after nursing and sometimes in the middle. Last week he puked in my armpit... and that was the same night my 3 year old was sick all night. Fun times! But he will go sometimes 6 or 7 hours at night and not make a peep. Then want to nurse every 2 hours all day. I'll take that so that I feel normal! I'm one of those people who needs lots of sleep too!

  31. LOL! I love how you ended with a completely random, adorable picture! I totally agree that when people were asking me this about Capri- I would say, yeah she sleeps through the night- we co-sleep, she wakes up, latches on, falls back asleep, and most of the time I don't even wake up for more then 3 seconds! LOL. Then came Thatcher, who started literally sleeping through the night just a few weeks into life, and it's caused me more problems! My milk supply, oh dear! I miss him! Part of me always thought that it was a myth that babies did this unless they cried it out, or after they got older. When people told me their two week old slept through the night, I assumed they were lying lol! So the fact that Thatcher does... it still wierds me out! I love that you were brave enough to be honest!

  32. IT is so nice to connect with other parents who parent the same way I do. So often I am asked about Arora's sleeping. She is not a kid to sleep through the night, never has been. A friend of mine recently suggested just locking her door at night so she will stop coming into my room. I was appalled! I could never lock my 2 year old in her room, she needs help and love even at 3am.
    I am very grateful to my husband who helps with night time parenting. With # 2 coming soon I do wish she would start sleeping a little sounder, but that will come when she is ready.

  33. Levi is 2 1/2 and is only just now sometimes sleeping through the night. When he was a tiny baby he was a horrible sleeper. He rarely slept longer than an hour and was difficult to get back to sleep. I hated it when people asked me how my baby was sleeping and then would tell me just to let him cry it out. I did actually try it. I couldn't do it. Babies cry because they need us. It's natural for them to cry and for us to respond. Eventually, his sleeping became more bearable. He still woke up with some frequency until he was around 2...anywhere from 5 to 10 times a night. But, somewhere around 6 months he became easy to get back to sleep, and since he slept with me his waking no longer really disturbed my own sleep. After that, I didn't worry about what others said. I'm the mama. I get to make the rules. One of them is that my little ones aren't left to cry it out. This next time, I'm sealing my ears to all the well meant advice.

  34. Did you know that when they're little they wake up when they need to pee? We teach them to ignore it, and then we complain when it comes time to potty train because they sleep through the urge. Silly.

    My little guy still nurses every 3-4 hours, night and day, at 12 months. And he sleeps wonderfully in between. I am the most well-rested mama I know. :)

  35. most of the time Goose (my 11 month old) basically sleeps through the night. It makes me sad that he doesn't sleep well with us, I loved that snuggling time with Sugar and I've really missed it with Goose. He really is much happier and much better rested though if I'll simply nurse him and then put him back in his bed to sleep.

    My hubby works 2nd shift so our schedule is a little different. Goose is ready to go to bed between 7:30 and 8 every evening and then he will often wake up between 11 and 1 - I don't go to bed until 1 or 1:30 after Hubby gets home and has taken a few minutes to just relax so that middle of the night waking up time doesn't affect us much. Goose and Sugar both wake up between 7 and 9 in the mornings - usually Goose is up first around 7:30 and Sugar wakes up a bit later.

    Baby olympics? Goose is trying out for the crawling event and Sugar wants to compete in jump-rope :)

  36. Thank you! My son was never a "good" sleeper, as far as society was concerned. He never, EVER, slept through the night until sometime after his second birthday. He spent the first 18 months in our bed, and when he'd wake, I'd let him nurse for a few minutes, and we'd both drift back to sleep. Once he moved into his big boy bed (a twin mattress on his bedroom floor), if he woke I'd lay down with him until he fell back asleep. Now, at almost 2 1/2, unless he's cutting teeth or not feeling well, he tends to sleep all night through.
    When he was an infant, I hated when people would ask if he was sleeping through the night, and then would "tsk tsk" when they heard he wasn't. It was as though he -- and I -- were failing some kind of unwritten test. Like I was a failure as a mother, and there was something wrong with him. I finally learned to answer that "he sleeps like a baby..." which was the truth!

  37. Great post! I don't believe in crying-it-all-out either!!!! It's pains me to hear our little one crying at night!!!!

    Yes while nursing, lots of waking up during the night but i find after they self weans it does get better all on it's own. No special schedule, if they're well feed they will sleep well. (How would you like waking up in the middle of the night hungry and unable to feed yourself LOL)

    Thanks for sharing this post!

    Ps I wrote a post today about the same topic, funny coincidence, but was not talking about babies LOL

  38. I totally agree. I was "blessed", I say blessed because my first born was a wonderful sleeper, never cried until at least 5 AM, went to bed around 11 PM. My now 3 year old still wakes often in the night, mostly to go potty. But she still wakes. My 18 month old wakes up like your 14 month old. Sometimes it's half a dozen, sometimes less. She is breastfed and sleeps with us, she latches on most the time and goes right back to sleep. Others she just rolls over cuddles up next to me and falls right back to sleep. I wouldn't even say she totally wakes up when she does this. I hate when everyone keeps asking if she is sleeping through the night yet. And being 100% honest, I don't sleep through the night yet and I'm in my late twenties. =o)

  39. Amen and amen! My baby is 6 weeks old, and EVERYONE keeps asking me how he is sleeping. I think he's doing GREAT, but everyone gives the low mumbly groan when I say how many times he feeds throughout the night. I guess it just doesn't bother me because he does sleep in bed with us and I just latch him on and we both go back to sleep. If I am committed to tending to his needs during the day, why wouldn't I at night? Oh me oh my... :)

  40. I agree with what you've said. With the baby to be, we've already purchased a co-sleeper, (our bed is a queen and with a 2 year old that sometimes still sleeps with us it will be crowded!) Anyway, I don't like the question is your baby sleeping through the night? It seems as though it is almost a contest. I believe each child and family is different and will work through it however they can.

  41. Yes, I love your honestly as well! I do feel like it's a competition out there on who has the best sleeping baby.

    Mine were/are not great sleepers. I could not do the CIO method at all though, it just broke my heart. People bash me for that all the time and tell me it's my "fault" they can't sleep on their own. Thank YOU for writing this post to let me know that all kids are different and it's okay!

    My 4.5 year is finally (!) sleeping through the night and goes to bed with little resistance. I'm sure he will sleep like a rock when he is a teenager too----despite me "catering" to him in the middle of the night! (yes, someone told me that once!)

  42. Great post Stephanie! It can be so frustrating...everyone thinking that babies need to 'sleep through the night' at 6 weeks old. I sure wouldn't have minded if my kiddos wanted to do that, but alas...they didn't. I tried 'everything you are *supposed* to do' to get your kid to sleep through the night and it just didn't work on mine. Each child is different and what works for one family doesn't necessarily work for the other.

    We have been having a hard go of sleep in this house for the past week and a half. Jameson has been getting all four of his canine teeth at once...and he has been miserable. Going to bed has never been a problem in our house before...while he may wake up at night here and there, the actual going to be part has never been hard. My kids love going to bed...especially since they share a room. No tears or fits, they fall asleep easily (just didn't stay asleep until they were over 9 months). But this past week, Jameson has been refusing to go to sleep in his crib...just fighting it tooth and nail. His desire to be more independent, teething, and seeing life through the eyes of his three year old sister has been tough on him.

    At just 18 months old he is now sleeping in a 'big boy bed' - last night was his first night there (and he did great). He insists on eating in a big chair now so we put the high chair away...he is growing up too fast!

    I just rambled...but your littlest one is getting such a personality...LOVE those pictures!

  43. I love the honesty with which you write your posts. Yes, night times are a challenge for every parent, I do believe, even when you feel like you figure things out. Everything is always changing with kids...their needs, ours, lifestyles, etc.
    We'll soon be getting rid of our little girls' bed (a queen size futon on the floor which we've all slept on in different configurations for nearly 5 years now). I'm getting really nostalgic. It means my two littles are growing up already. Geesh.
    And I also agree. I couldn't even attempt the CIO method. It felt completely opposite my instincts to let any of my babes cry intentionally in the night. I do believe that parenting extends into the night. It's a 24 hour job...even when you're tired. That said, sometimes I'm not an awesome parent at the wee hours...but that's life too.
    P.S. I laugh every time you write about you and your husband up late talking, working, dreaming together. Sometimes I wonder if there are others like us...and your blog has shown me that there are. Sometimes I kick myself for staying up so late.

  44. Ahhh, the sleep debate! I contend that parents are most desperate in two categories: potty training & sleep. Because of this, everybody has an opinion & a system that works for them that SURELY would work for everybody else, right? Wrong. It's so personal! Families have to find what works for them and their *individual* kids (because they are all individuals after all!) That being said, I may not have ever intentional let my baby cry it out, but I'm hard of hearing so...well, do the math on that one. I hope they haven't cried for (too)long periods but they may have (I usually get up every couple of hours to check on everybody, so it couldn't be THAT long, right?). And they are still ok :) All 3 of my kids need a lot of sleep (people give me tons of grief on this) so they go to bed around 6pm--but they SLEEP, which tells me they are TIRED! Each to his/her own, I say!

  45. I agree with you... I hate the "Cry-it-out" method. Our son (14 months old) sleeps from about 8pm until I wake him to nurse before I leave for work at 6am, then he goes right back to sleep until 7:30ish. Although there are times (usually when he has a cold) when he gets up at night and either my husband or I go right to him. We didn't try to force him to sleep on this schedule, he just always was a "good" sleeper without much guidance from us.

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